Okay, folks, here's the story on this one. It's an old poem I wrote back in the nineties. I'm a fan of Robert Service, and some of you might even have read or heard read his famous The Cremation of Sam McGee. This is in the same rhyming scheme as that chilling yet humorous poetic tale. Mine is not nearly as good, but still I like it.
It's inspiration is from the lyrics of Come A Little Bit Closer by Jay And The Americans. So, from those two parent sources was this particular piece born. It is also one of the very few of my poems that I can recite from memory. It's fun to do at parties, and I can sing it as well to a nifty little spanish blues riff and melody a friend and I came up with a few years back.
Just think of a rhythmic spanish guitar picking, strumming, and fanning in the background as you read it. A little sugar to help the medicine go down, as it were...
Enjoy, hopefully...
Just South Of The Rio Grande
Just south of the Rio Grande with a Desert Eagle in my hand, I look ol’ death in the eye.
I’ve done the crime, and I guess it’s time for me to face the harsh music of El Diablo or die.
By the full moonlight of a cold Chihuahua night my gun will blaze away.
I’ll prove my macho might, in a hot firefight, just before the break of day.
And if I die, hell, it ain’t no lie, it’s probably true justice served.
Maybe it’s best I’m laid to rest, ‘cause it’s just what I deserved.
But if I go down in this dirty little town at least my life wasn’t bland.
So with my feet in the sand I’ll take my stand, just south of the Rio Grande.
In a red Cadillac with the wind at my back, and the road rollin’ south to ol’ Mexico,
Headin’ for the beat road sign markin’ the borderline with no particular place to go.
So, in the in a grubby, little cantina I met a chica named Mina who let me buy her a warm Tecate.
She had a body curved for sinnin’, an’ a face that was winnin’ ‘cause it was so lasciviously naughty
Her short little skirt did more than flirt as it barely covered the top of her thighs,
An’ without a doubt her cropped blouse was filled out, which also caught my eyes.
Her voice was sultry when she said to be that tonight I met the measure,
To take her home and her charms to roam for a night of carnal pleasure.
Now as often I make it was a mistake to let this sexy senorita warp my mind,
But I’m only a man so off I ran after that beautiful sweet swayin’ behind.
And as we were entwined in an intimate grind a huge Mexican burst in the door.
He roared in rage and proceeded to wage on my person his own private war.
Now Mama didn’t raise no wimp, but I ain’t no simp so I kneed that hombre in the groin.
Though I had a bloody nose, grabbed my scattered clothes grinnin’ at the Mexi tenderloin.
That cheatin’ girl who had rocked my worl’ grinned a satisfied sheepish smile,
But the big bandito was arisin’ and me he was despisin’ with all his bitter bile.
So to my car I ran ‘cause I just ain’t no fan of bein’ a broken an’ bloody mess.
As my Caddy came to life Big Mex came with a knife belarin’ what you’d guess.
He’d kill me that night ‘cause he said it was his right and eat my gringo heart for break-fast.
Out roared the Fifty-Nine with a pickup a’ Mexicans behin’ intent that this day was my last.
Well I took a wrong turn and was soon to learn I was headed down a bloody dead end.
That there road did deliver to the edge of the river and there and no further did it send.
So I pulled out my gun, the big fifty caliber one and prepared to fight in short order.
The Mexicans tore in lookin’ meaner than sin, and trapped me just south of the border.
Oh they were armed to the teeth with a weapon underneath each and every coat.
Out ran my luck as they surged off the truck, and that ugly gang began to gloat.
Big Mex came toward me brandishin’ a machete and diplomatically let me know
“Ju done had me guapa, now I gonna choppa jer head from jer choulders, pendejo!”
They were eight, and the odds weren’t great ‘cause only seven shots were in my piece-tol.
Each round had to score or it was for shor’ that my ol’ body would be sportin’ a new hole.
I had nothin’ to say so with no more clever repartee I proceeded to empty my full clip.
In the space of a heartspan each bullet found its man as my gun blazed from my hip.
Now, Big Mex with raised hair had soiled his underwear, and gawked in open-mouth fear.
In his stupor I noted I had the time to get reloaded and get me an’ my Caddy in the clear.
I said “Sorry ‘bout yor lass, but she’s some piece of ass, and couldn’t pass up a just little taste.
Now I will be leavin’. O’er your amigo you be grievin’, but be glad it was you I didn’t waste.”
Then down the road came another full truck load, of ten, gun-totin’, blood-mad Mexicans.
Of course all of whom I surmised with gloom were obviously the dear departed’s frien’s.
And as I had feared Big Mex viciously sneered and with glee turned to me and growled
“Ju tink jour funny, gringo? Ju going to die real slow ‘cause ju gonna get disemboweled.”
Well, I had no choice with these mestizo boys so I ran for the wide Rio Grande.
If I wanted to survive the only way to stay alive was to swim for my ol’ homeland.
The water was so cold it made my bone feel old and soon I began to shiver,
But as the bullets whizzed about there was no doubt I had to cross that river.
It wasn’t very easy and I was feelin quite queasy when I crawled upon the US shore.
Then I heard a click that made me more sick and I was lookin’ down a barrel full bore.
“Ah been waitin’ fer yer mangy hide to come over to this here side fer what ya’ done to my daughter!”
Yes, I can honestly say that this wasn’t my day, an’ grabbin’ my gun I jumped right back into the water.
Just south of the Rio Grande with a Desert Eagle in my hand, I look ol’ death in the eye.
I’ve done the crime, and I guess it’s time for me to face the harsh music of El Diablo or die.
By the full moonlight of a cold Chihuahua night my gun will blaze away.
I’ll prove my macho might, in a hot firefight, just before the break of day.
And if I die, hell, it ain’t no lie, it’s probably true justice served.
Maybe it’s best I’m laid to rest, ‘cause it’s just what I deserved.
But if I go down in this dirty little town at least my life wasn’t bland.
So with my feet in the sand I’ll take my stand just south of the Rio Grande.
So that's it. Tell me what you think. Try not to groin shot me though. If you're going to be plain vicious, just hit me on the back of the head with a bat, and be done with it.
Thanks for the read.
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